The Bank Stole Our Money
It began when I received the afternoon mail. I love the mail. I am always so hopeful that our clients have sent their payments on time and that I will be able to spend the rest of the afternoon rolling around in all the checks that we have received. Today however, I was handed a bunch of bills and what looked like junk mail.
I noticed a bunch of letters from American Express (don’t leave home without it). Normally I would just toss these letters as they had the look and texture of junk mail, but since my afternoon was now going to be filled with reminder calls to my clients to pay their bills, I needed to procrastinate a little.
I open the first letter. What’s inside? A big fat check made out to Smashing Golf & Tennis. While my first reaction was sheer joy, my second was fear. How many other checks have they been sending us that I tossed out because it looked like junk mail?! I decided to not dwell on this minor point and open the second letter which is thicker, and so it can only mean a fatter check.
I open the second letter and here is where my blood pressure rises. It says that American Express tried to deposit money into our bank account (from our online sales), but was unable to since our bank account has been closed.
Ok, now I’m mad and they better have something stronger for me at the teller counter than a lime flavored sucker!
It seems that when our bank merged over the December holidays, they took the liberty of changing a few things. First there were our corporate cards that they decided to un-authorize because we needed new ones. (Boss has already written about that escapade so I won’t rehash) The second seems to be that we have some new account numbers and new checks. Again, this MAY HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO SHARE WITH US!
The bank has assured me that all of our money is still there, they just moved it to a new account.
“So basically you stole our money, ” I said, as I’m a very black and white sort of person.
“No,” she says all super sugary , “We just put it in this new account. See we merged and everyone gets new accounts!” During this last sentence her voice has actually risen to an octave level that I’m sure only dogs can hear.
“Yea!” I say in my fake, you are totally annoying me voice, “See if you told me you put our money somewhere else, then it would be ok. But since you just did it and didn’t tell me, it’s actually called stealing.”
“Let me see if I can get someone to help you,” she says dropping her voice an octave to actual human levels.
“I don’t want a representative,” I say “I want my new checks and my current balance sheet”
After some whispering with other members of the new merged bank, they return with the items I need. All of our money is still there, although in a “new awesome account!”
Now that my blood pressure has returned to normal, I thank them for their time, give the teller my evil stink eye, and make my final point by grabbing a handful of lollipops.