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FORE! Our entry into golf…

June 8, 2010

Being the superstar athlete that I am, I thought I’d try golf.  How hard can it be to hit a ball with an iron club?   Apparently, pretty hard, as the country club I played at just hired me as their new lawn cutter.

It all began when I married a golfer.  I basically had two choices: 1. become a golf widow or 2. learn the game and hire a babysitter.  So after a decade of being the “widow”, I decided to learn the game.  I took 5 lessons and apparently thought that was all I needed.  I entered my first tournament.

We played a Nine and Dine with Buzzkill and her husband.  We did awesome — until we started counting the strokes.  I was feeling really good about my game.  And then I realized, I was feeling good because of the multiple margaritas I was downing, not because of my golf game.  Needless to say, we came in dead last (even with our handicap).  Bummer…

It wasn’t all bad, I mean I did win an award — “closest to the tee.” (those of you that aren’t familar with golf, that means I only hit the ball about 3 feet when I was supposed to hit it a few hundred).  Don’t think there are any silver platters in my near future…

I have a few more years of cursing ahead of me before I get a hold of this game.  But I leave you with these words of wisdom for you amateur golfers, “whether your glass is half empty or half full, there is always room for vodka.”

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