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“Are you going to let me show you my fat, or what?”

October 4, 2010

Well I had an entirely different blog written for today, but the legal dept said “no.” (and you know how marketing and legal get along — kind of like Tom & Jerry).

So I say, “Great.  What am I supposed to write about now?”

And they say, ” Write about your sales meetings.”

“I think people are tired of hearing me talk about my fat.”

“No, people love hearing about your fat,” the legal dept retorts.

Now some of you will not see the error in the legal dept’s response (probably the same people who often are left to sleep on the couch after a significant other asks, “does this make me look fat?”), so let me point it out.  When a women makes some comment referring to the fact that they are fat, you respond, YOU ARE NOT FAT.  YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

It is bad enough I hear it from our clients, but the legal dept.  Really?!?  I was one step away from firing them until I realized they are pro bono.

But I’ve been instructed to tell you about my sales meetings.  I had 2.  One resulted in a sale, the other did not.  The difference?  When I show them the fat, they show me the money.  (wasn’t that a line from a movie?!?)  One of my sales calls, the woman did not want me to do the demo, as a matter of fact, she practically tackled me when I made way to the dressing room (She was either hiding something or someone valuable in that dressing room or she has a phobia of muffin tops). I was totally perplexed and definitely thrown off my game, because the demo is the star of the show.  So needless to say, no sale (but I did try to sneak into the dressing room later in the day, but , alas, I set off some alarm).

The second meeting I did the demo.  Yet again, I put on the Nike dress and hear, “Yes.  Totally not flattering.  Awful fit.”  Put on Smashing and hear, “I can’t believe the difference.  You are so thin.” (meaning I was totally obese before)

My partners keep telling me to stop eating healthy because I’m not allowed to lose weight.

“The demo won’t be as good.” They say

“But I love this spinach salad.  Are you really going to make me eat that large cone, dipped in chocolate, from Dairy Queen?” I respond.  “That will just make me so fat.”

“You aren’t fat; you are beautiful, ” they say.  See they GET IT.

So I have the ice cream.  I mean, it IS for the good of the business.

2010 Copyright Smashing LLC 2010 Copyright

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