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Our Factory is sooo “sleeping on the couch” tonight

March 27, 2011

It all began with a thread.  The thread that ended in a fight with the word “large” being thrown around.  And then ended with someone sleeping on the couch.

Let’s rewind a few days….

So it began with another team try on.  We love these events.  Alcohol, food, laughs, and of course, sales.  We had quite a crowd of women trying on clothes, and with the promise of “slimmer in seconds” many wanted to see “how slim” they could get.  This involved women trying on their “oh la la Sasson” high school jeans size as opposed to their “post 3 kids I now live in the burbs” size.

Now I can’t say I blame them.  I do the same thing.  I will risk internal bleeding from crushing my internal organs, just to fit into that smaller size.  I get it.

But these clothes were not some dresses found on a DEB store rack in a dimly lit obnoxious teen store, these were clothes that we labored over.  So as every customer took a deep inhale and held their breath to fit into that smaller size, we too held our breath that no seams would pop.  At one point, we had to resuscitate Ace.

The good news is we didn’t die from asphyxia (Ace just got off the ventilator).  The other piece of good news is that 95% of our apparel held up to the test.  But there was one dress where a seam seemed very stressed.  We decided we should visit the factory and see if they could fortify the seam so we could breathe easier.

We explain to the factory the issue and his response was, “Well if they would just wear the correct size, this wouldn’t happen.”

It was then that I realized, that this is a man who spends a lot of nights sleeping on the couch.

But he didn’t stop there.

“For example” as he points to me “You should be wearing a large.”

Oh no he didn’t.  He didn’t just alpha-size me!  And he didn’t even guess right, as I am CLEARLY a MEDIUM!!!

I would have kicked him, but to extend my leg that far would have popped the button on my pants.

I go on to explain that there is “no correct size” for women.  We all have a size range within our closets. We have our comfy clothes (aka, the “FAT SIDE”), our slightly uncomfortable clothes (“EVERYDAY SIDE”) and the internal crushing, I can’t breathe, my voice is an octave higher clothes (“SKINNY SIDE”).  And of course, on the fourth side is the box of tissues (for when you need to cross to the fat side) and power tools (to help you get to the skinny side).

He looks at me like I’m crazy.

So after much discussion we agreed on how to foritify the seam so that even Hulk could fit into a medium.

We gave the factory our new orders for team and some reorders for items already sold out.  Ace asks me if I included my team order.  I hadn’t.  So I look at the factory owner, square in the eye, and say, “Put me down for 2 smalls.”

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 20, 2011 4:46 pm

    This is hilarious:

    “Oh no he didn’t. He didn’t just alpha-size me! And he didn’t even guess right, as I am CLEARLY a MEDIUM!!!

    I would have kicked him, but to extend my leg that far would have popped the button on my pants.”

    Another battle in the endless size war.

  2. Spinner permalink
    April 20, 2011 5:26 pm

    Thx Susan. Hope you try us out — use code FACEBOOK15 and get 15% off and free ship (just click the shop tab)

  3. April 29, 2011 8:00 am

    Personally, I don’t fit the same size at every store I shop at. Women’s sizes can fluctuate a lot.

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