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Fashion Model Combat & My Two Right Feet

April 27, 2011

This morning Spinner and I attended a Ladies Golf Breakfast at Medinah Country Club (host of the 2012 Ryder Cup) which featured shopping, breakfast and a fashion show. The morning was just humming along making sales until the chimes rang for the ladies to be seated. Ah, finally I could take a rest and get something to eat myself.

After I shuffled through the meal line in the back kitchen with the rest of the vendors, I returned to my station, sat down and was ready to take my first bite of eggs when I was suddenly drafted. “You, Fashion Show, Model, Now!”. Excuuuuse Me? Baking Powder? Did you say model?

Spinner quickly threw me the Pink Irina Dress (featured today in Golf Digest:) and I changed faster than Clark Kent in a telephone booth. One problem, I only had black heels with me. I look over and see the rest of the models including Spinner standing in the wings waiting for the announcer to narrate our entrance. I start running around in a dizzying circle flapping my arms in a “what the hell do I do” motion waiting for proper shoes to appear. Quick, is there a witch a can land a house on? That should do it!

Aha! From across the room I spot the Adidas Shoe Table. I leap over other tables like hurdles pushing other vendor reps aside (envision with Chariots of Fire theme music playing). Then I ask, or more realistically inform, the rep that I need to borrow a pair of shoes as my que is almost here. I didn’t care what size they  were, I’d shove my feet in anything. Here’s the hiccup: he only had RIGHT shoes for display. What?!?!? Whatever, I’d make it work.

I grabbed two RIGHT shoes that were the closest in style and color and awkwardly put them on, no one will notice, right? I get in line behind the other models and they all point out the obvious to me as if I had no idea. I told them, “Well, you have heard of two left feet, I have two right. Let’s do this, ladies.”

My strategy was to have lightning quick model feet as I sashayed and pirouetted down the catwalk. Surely, my moves would captivate the audience distracting them from my two right feet, besides I looked Smashing (pun intended). I almost forgot that I had on two right shoes until the very end when I saw a women whispering to her neighbor pointing at my shoes…. at that point my tap dance training kicked in and I exited doing Buffalo Shuffles.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Spinner permalink
    April 27, 2011 3:59 pm

    I believe it was your fashion entrance that is quoted in the Golf Digest article at

    http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-digest-woman/2011-04/photos-mothers-day#slide=12

  2. Tracy permalink
    April 27, 2011 6:27 pm

    You girls are SO hilarious!! 🙂

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