Coupon Clipping Millionaires

As many of you know, the sales & marketing dept has been in overdrive this week — flying off to Naples to meet some key accounts, area trunk shows and of course, negotiating that billboard on 90 (just for you Frances!).  And in true Smashing fashion, nothing here is without incident.  So grab your coffee, sit back and enjoy the sales trip recap.

10:30pm, Tuesday evening:  I land in Naples.   Luckily the SUV with wings I flew in on, arrived without incident.  I proceed to the rental counter, and after waiting an exorbitant amount of time for them to sell me every protection package under the sun, I finally agree to take the navigation.  Because you are “never lost if you have navigation” right?  Yeah, I’ll be protesting that charge!

11:15 pm, Tuesday evening:  I punch in the address of the hotel and proceed out to the highway.  As I’m singing Madonna’s Lucky Star, like only a middle-aged woman can, the navigation tells me to exit the Highway.  Being a first-born, I always follow directions and exit.  The navigation then goes into “recalculate” mode.

11:45 pm, Tuesday evening: I’m driving aimlessly along waiting for the navigation to “calculate” and then hit gridlock on some random warehouse road.  I’m slightly suspicious as who the hell is out driving at 11:45 pm?!?  And in Naples?!?  The town shuts down at 8pm.  I decide to call the hotel.

12 midnight, Wednesday morning: After awakening the desk clerk at the hotel, I describe the traffic laden warehouse road and ask where the hotel is in relation to this road.  His reply?  “Honey, you ain’t in Naples.”  Great.  But luckily the string of obscenities I yelled out, awoke the navigation system and  it “calculated” that I was only 5 minutes away. (so apparently I WAS in Naples)

6am, Wednesday morning: After sleeping with one eye open the entire night, convinced the 3 alarms I set would not awaken me in time, I get up and get ready for my string of apts this morning.  The first stop is a posh country club just north of Naples.  I head out early in case of traffic (or further navigation problems)

8am, Wednesday morning: I arrive at my apt 30 minutes early.  I’m slightly concerned that I don’t see a golf course, or a tennis court for that matter, but figure the pro shop must be in a different section of the complex.  I decide to not appear “too eager” and answer some emails until about 10 minutes prior to the apt.

8:20am, Wednesday morning: I get out of the car and carry the samples to the front door.  It’s locked.  There is no one inside, and there are no clothes, equipment or balls.  Only a string of real estate listings.  Please tell me I’m not at the wrong place!  Luckily the realtor pulls in and explains (ok laughs) and says, “Oh sugar, you are most definitely in the wrong place.  Just drive down this road for about 10 minutes and you’ll reach the gate.  Then they can direct you.”

10 minutes?!?!  I’m going to be late!!!

As I speed down the road like it’s the Indy 500, I arrive at the gate with a very stern warning that there are “elderly people” here and I should “slow down.”  I get to my apt miraculously on time and launch into the sales presentation that Wharton will soon be studying.  When I’m finished I ask the buyer her thoughts.  She loves the product (yes, yes, of course).  She loves the fabrics and patterns (yes, we do too). She thinks the line will be very successful (you are too kind).  She thinks it is probably too expensive for her members (what?!?!).   Now I failed to mention, most of the homes in here are worth around $5M.  She could judge by my quizzical expression, that I didn’t fully understand.  So she offered a piece of advice, “We have the coupon clipping millionaires.  But try down the street, you’ll do great down there.”

Thankfully, there are many other places in Naples where the coupons are omitted from the Sunday paper and we were able to get some commitments for fall.  And for those coupon clipping millionaires, we may run a few 15 cent off coupons this fall.

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