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Golfing Pocket Free and Loving It

May 16, 2011

I’m here to set you free.  Pocket free that is.

On a recent golf outing I decided to do a little market research into what women put into their pockets while golfing.  While there are some trend setters like me that don’t use a pocket, there are others that are apparently on their way to the “Let’s Make A Deal” set.

When you ask women what they put in their pocket, you expect the standard answers — tee, ball and scorecard.  But in a recent outing, I found a collection of items.  Here are a few interviews:

“Wow, your pockets are really bulging at the seam there,” I say, “What in the world are you carrying around.”

“Phone, lipstick, scorecard, pencil, mints, comb, and a couple of balls,” she replies.

Is she playing 18 or 118?

“Aren’t you using a cart,” I ask.  Thinking she can store all that stuff in there as opposed to looking like a pack mule and increasing the width of her hips by about 6 inches.

“Of course,” she replies, “I have my coat, hat, change of shoes, a book, some drinks and a few more balls in there.”

I’m pretty sure she’ll be getting a “slow play” letter. (Not to mention the Glamour black bar across the eyes)

I decide to move on.  Clearly, this woman is someone I’m not going to be able to convert to the no pocket movement.

“Hey there,” I say to lady #2  “What do you have in your pocket?”

“Some tees, a few balls, an EPIpen, a phone, lipstick, and a brush,” she replies.

This is the second woman carrying around a full make up kit.  And in her pocket non-the-less.  Is there some Chippendale Oasis on Hole 16?!?

“An EpiPen?” I ask “Are there a lot of bees out here?”

“No, it’s my son’s, but I just carry it around just in case.”

While I’m intrigued in learning more about how her son, who is 10 miles away in a classroom, is going to be helped by her mother on the golf course — I decide to move on to my last interview before tee off.

“Hey there,” I say getting out another sheet of legal size paper, “What do you have in your pocket?”

“Nothing,” she says.

Nothing?!?!  Can this be true?!  Another member in the no pocket movement?

“No extra balls?” I say

“No.  I try to hit them straight so I don’t lose them,” she replies (good point.  It got me thinking, if you need extra balls, you don’t need a pocket, you need a few golf lessons.)

“No tee? No scorecard” I ask

“No I put them in the cart,” she answers

As I am hugging and exchanging numbers with my new BFF, another golfer comes up and asks,”But what if you want to walk?”

My new BFF and myself look at her like she is crazy (she doesn’t need a pocket, more like psychiatric treatment) and in unison say,

“But where do you put your drink?”

2011 Copyright Smashing LLC 2010 Copyright

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