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No Christmas Card For YOU!!!

June 5, 2011

Tonight we announced our summer dress sale via an email blast expertly designed by the marketing department.  We love the email marketing — it’s cheap and effective.  We always see a surge of orders after one.  However, we also see a surge of “do not contact me ever again.  NEVER.” correspondence as well.

While we expect some to not want to hear from us, we were a little surprised with some of the names on the recent list — including one of the owners of Smashing!

At the bottom of our emails there is a button that allows you to opt out.  While many of you may think this is anonymous, it isn’t.  At the end of the month the marketing department gets a list of all the people who have chosen to opt out, and they are very quickly removed from all Christmas card, general parties and any good karma events.  We also make voodoo dolls in their likeness and begin sticking pins in them.  Just saying…

We’ve laughed over the past few months as SFG’s relatives have “opted out”, one of Ace’s good friends “opted out” and even our husbands have “opted out”.

But SFG and Ace were a little perplexed when they saw my name on the recent list.

“Spinner,” says Ace, “WTH?!?”

“LOL!,” says SFG, “It’s ironic that the marketing department doesn’t want to hear the marketing communication!”

I try to explain that it is because I have 3 email accounts and they all seemed to be linked to the email blasts.  I really only need to get this once.

They roll their eyes in a manner that even a 14-year-old would be impressed.

“You know I am prone to having multiple accounts with my name, ” I plead.  “I have 3 LinkedIn Accounts (yes, they still haven’t resolved the problem), 2 Twitter accounts (longer story), and 3 email accounts.”

They aren’t buying it. I’m growing concerned I may have an angry mob on my hands.

“Fine,” I say in desperation, “I took my name off in the hopes of saving us some money.” (we have so many contacts that shortly we will need to upgrade to a larger package to send out our emails)

At this they are thrown into hysterics.  Apparently the marketing department does not have a track record of looking for ways to “save” money.

They cut me off and both agree that any groveling was too little, too late.  As they then said in unison, “No Christmas Card for YOU!”

2011 Copyright Smashing LLC 2011 Copyright smashingonline.wordpress.com

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Laurie permalink
    June 5, 2011 7:56 pm

    Too funny!!!

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