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Big Foot Sighting, Pimped Out Golf Cart and Renal Failure at our Photo Shoot

July 10, 2011

One phone call to the coast and the whole shoot goes to hell.

We are getting ready to shoot our fall line, when a call from LA comes in.  I grab my shades, head out to the patio and begin using the word “dude” a lot.   I figured Ace and SFG can handle the shoot by themselves for awhile right?   I mean seriously, what can go wrong?

My first clue was SFG speeding by in a pimped out version of a golf cart.  She has a full bar somehow attached to the back — with various bottles of wine, champagne, vodka and diet tonic (of course) clanking in the back.  While confused at first, I just shrugged it off and figured she was just getting a few cocktails for the entire metro area.

So I continue my conference call.

The next clue was the shot Ace was setting up on Hole 10 at the tee box.  While I can hear her screaming for a step-ladder, I’m more concerned about the golf club the model is holding.  Besides the fact she did not do the proper “bow” before setting up for her shot, I swear she is holding a putter.  I begin to walk closer to the shot and begin to talk faster in my conference call.

OMG it is a putter.

I’m now in full sprint and yelling, “YOU DON’T TEE OFF WITH A PUTTER!  YOU DON’T TEE OFF WITH A PUTTER!”

My conference call in LA is totally confused, Ace is annoyed as “she knows, we are just testing the lighting” and SFG pulls up to the scene with a screeching halt in the mobile bar and now has a case of the hiccups.

But while I’m here, Ace tells me to go get the step-ladder.  While I protest since I’m ON THE PHONE WITH LA, SFG says she’ll get it, but in the process clips about 3 rocks on the retaining wall.

I roll my eyes, tell the coast I have to call them back, and walk to get the step-ladder mumbling to myself the entire time how the marketing dept has to do EVERYTHING!

As I retrieve the 5 foot step-ladder and lock up the car, I can hear the stealth hiccuper getting closer.  SFG says hop in, she’ll drive me back up and already made me a cocktail.  Ok, she’s forgiven.

I step in and realize I just stepped on a glass.

“Oh no worries,” says the hiccuper “I guess I need to tidy up this cart.”

Geez, there is more glassware on the floor of this cart than is in my entire house.

So I sit down — feet out the side (there is no room for feet “in the cart”) and hold the step-ladder across my legs.  My Pilates training definitely came in handy

We get back to the photo shoot and Ace is commenting on the foot position of one of the models.  She seems a little frustrated.

“What’s going on?” I ask

“Her feet are HUGE.” Ace says  “Where did we get those clown shoes?!”

I look closer and realize the answer.  My locker.

While I wear a size 10 (which is the same size shoe as the model coincidentally) I have to admit these shoes look HUGE in the pics.

Always a glass is half full kinda girl, I say, “Well at least her gigantic feet will distract from the fact that she is teeing off with a 7!” (where is the driver people! driver!)

Of course, since I supplied the aforementioned clown shoes, it was now my job to also  “fluff up the grass” after the model took steps across the course/courts as she left these gigantic prints.  I’m sure the junior golfers the next morning will have a blast following Yeti’s trail.

But alas, since this is the blog edition and not the book edition, the trail those Yeti believers will follow the next day will be short as we needed to call it a wrap as the sun was going down (almost as quickly as the glasses of wine SFG had in the mobile bar cart).  Time to eat.

While we sat down we wondered why we were all drinking out of plastic cups.  Then we saw multiple servers bring in all the glassware from SFG’s cart.  Oh we are so getting a letter about that.

After Yeti returned the clown shoes and made about 300 jokes, we settled into more serious topics, such as the fact that one of our models was experiencing renal failure at that very moment.

Don’t worry all is well.  Nothing a few shots (and not the medical kind) couldn’t handle.

And in true VH1 Behind the Photo Shoot fashion, at the end of the day, all ended up well.

The renal failure model is recovering nicely.

Yeti is back to her day job of selling ceilings (not floors mind you, JUST ceilings).

And our other model is busy with SFG having their own hilarious photo shoot of outtakes.

SFG is lamenting over the bar bill (see pic from Friday to see her face when the bill came).

Ace is trying to retouch out the wrong clubs and replace with the correct ones.

And me?  I’m apparently looking for new shoes.

Sneak peek of Fall Line.  Don’t worry I cropped out the 7 iron and the clown shoes (pre renal failure as well)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Jenn permalink
    July 10, 2011 10:07 am

    SIZE 10???? Girlfriend, you are crusin’ for a bruisin’!! XO

  2. Spinner permalink
    July 10, 2011 10:15 am

    Just don’t kick me — I may end up with renal failure


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