Skip to content

If you touch my butt….

December 11, 2011

You are going to buy a Smashing outfit.  It has been scientifically proven.

We were invited to a holiday shopping night at a nearby country club.  While we weren’t sure how we would fare, since these shows mostly sport jewelry, scarves and hostess gifts, it was for a friend and decided to give it a shot.

Boss, Cozmo (our intern) and myself show up and within the first hour spent more at the various vendors than we were making.  While sipping champagne and shopping are two of my favorite pastimes, I decided we really needed to kick in the sales charm.

As I’m explaining to Cozmo our sales technique, some woman goosed me.

“I’ve GOT to talk to you about this outfit,” she says “It is just adorable.”

She tells me she’ll be right back.  As I start speed dialing my therapist, Boss stares longingly at the miniature soups, but reluctantly eats her granola bar.  Our intern Cozmo, has another engagement and so heads out the door before she gets goosed.

Then Christmas arrived.

A group of women swarmed the booth and bought up tons of merchandise.

After they left it was quiet again for a short time.  Being in sales, I thrive on the adrenaline rush of a new sale, so I don’t like to stand idle (or I’m most likely to start spending $$ again at other booths).

I tell Boss to eat another granola bar.  She looks at me astonished, as it is the holiday season where every calorie counts, and she is not so sure she wants to waste anymore on Quaker Oats.

I tell her to trust me — I see a pattern.

Now a novice sales person may not have noticed the pattern that set the sales in motion.  However after suffering for many years of superstition OCD, I saw it.

I start walking the room.  I spotted a group of women chatting and very nonchalantly back into them.  They touched my butt.

“Oh so sorry,” I say

“Wait.  Are you the Smashing girl?” they ask

“Yes I am,” I say and led the next group of  women to our booth.

We repeated this pattern for a good part of the night.  Between fits of laughter (by us), Boss nearly choking on the 10th granola bar of the night, and us explaining to security our proven sales technique, we had really cleaned up in sales.

So at the next event if you see me backing into you, you know what you have to do.

If you would rather just purchase an item and not have me back into you, you can order online at  Use code JDR15 to get 15% off and 10% will be donated to Juvenile Diabetes Research.  We also offer free priority shipping this holiday season.


No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: