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Chasing Big Brown All Around the Town

February 1, 2012

Why does UPS always supply us with ample blog material?

It all began with an order.  Our Irina Compression Dress has been flying off the shelves, and we are down to very low stock on certain styles/sizes.  A box being sent from CA held the rest of our inventory.  The box was sent on Monday, scheduled to arrive back here on Friday.  Plenty of time to turn around and ship the order within our promised shipping window.

Friday comes and with it comes an email from UPS saying the shipment will now be delivered on Monday.  I’m not happy, but if we get the sample, turn around and mail on Monday, we will just make our shipping commitment.

Monday at 5:58am the box is out for delivery.  I give a call to our UPS store around noon where our mailbox is housed and ask if the box arrived.  Not only is it not there, but all deliveries have already been made.  Translation= Our box is lost.

I ask when the UPS guy is coming back for the afternoon run, they say around 3pm.  I say I’ll stop in.

As I’m beginning my carpool pick ups, I receive an email from UPS that our box is being returned to sender as there is no known address.  Seems that someone wrote North on the address instead of South (we aren’t going to name names, but let’s just say we had a little mtg yesterday where everyone needed to recite our mailing address multiple times).  You would think this wouldn’t be a big deal, since North Cook is one block “north” of South Cook, but apparently it is a HUGE deal as you are about to find out.

I decide maybe I can intercept the UPS truck before returning to its shipping headquarters.  I slowly drive by our mailbox and see the big brown truck.  I tell the kids, I’ll be just a minute and hop out to talk to the driver.

“Do you have the Smashing box?” I say

He gives me a very perplexed look and says, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“You have a Smashing box that was marked North Cook St, instead of South and now they are going to return it,” I say as I begin to get into the back of the truck.


The UPS guy starts going nuts and tells me I need to get off the truck.  Not sure what he thought I was going to do, or maybe he was just scared of my bulging biceps (I mean I am on Day 5 of P90X), but he continues on that if the box was marked North it is most likely at the cleaners and on a different truck.

Wait? There is a cleaners around here?  This little tidbit had me momentarily perplexed as I couldn’t figure out where there was a cleaners on this street.

The UPS guy continued,” The northbound truck will be coming down Main St in about 10 minutes if you want to wait for him.”

I give a smirk and explain I’m not some crazy lady that is going to chase UPS trucks all over the town.

Famous last words.

I go back to the car and assure all the kids they will make it to their respective activities on time and begin to head down Main Street, when what do I see in the distance?  Big Brown.

I tell the kids to hold on, quick make a turn as I’m yelling, “Did he turn left or right!”

I begin racing down the side streets, peering through the alleys, until I spot him.  I hop out and ask if he happens to have a box for Smashing.

He says, “Are you Spinner?”

Apparently my reputation preceded me.  He goes to get the box, when over the CB comes a message, “There is some woman looking for a box and is trying to find you.”  Sigh — I’m now the crazy UPS lady.

With a smirk the driver says, “I was going to drop it off after 5pm.  But I’m not allowed to cross Main until then.”

Maybe there is some kind of UPS electic fence.

Got the box, mailed the order and got the kids to activities on time.

Life is good.


Spinner is Managing Partner of Smashing Golf & Tennis and is a mother of 3.  She is now known as the “crazy UPS lady.”  Currently she is in a lot of pain from day 5 of P90X and is craving carbs.


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