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Somebody Stole our Samples!

April 11, 2012

I admit, I am an overly trusting person.  As I was leaving for a recent vacation, Boss asked for a key to the house in case she needed some stuff for work.  I looked at her dumbfounded.  I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a key to our house and actually I’m not even sure the locks work anyway. (But for all you cat burglars out there, I do have a state of the art alarm system!)

This is probably what led to the recent crime ring at Smashing.

Daily we get requests from clubs wanting more information about our product.  Since our marketing budget is equal to the amount of people who care about Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy, I’m pretty excited when these smaller towns find us.

Since we don’t have reps across this great nation of ours quite yet, I often send some samples so they can feel the buttery soft fabric, see the ground breaking technology and fall in love with the fit.  Buyers always send back the samples with their order.

Three weeks ago we got a request from our friends down in MS.  I had multiple conversations with the buyer, and yes, I checked out to make sure the club was legit and she indeed worked there.  I sent off the samples.

After about 2 weeks, I sent the buyer an email asking for feedback.  The email bounced “this domain does not exist.”  Hmm, suspicious, but sometimes systems go haywire.

The next day I decide to shoot off a quick email before my P90X pain-a-thon workout, but again, “domain does not exist.”  I sigh, I now have to actually pick up the phone.  I call the club and ask for the buyer.

“I’m sorry, she no longer works here,” the receptionist replies.

“Ok, can you transfer me to the new buyer please,” I ask

“Well, that’s actually me.”

I explain the situation and ask if she can please send back the samples.

She tells me, she doesn’t have any samples, and has no idea what I’m talking about.

I explain a “Heidi” signed for the package and it was delivered on x date.  But according to the new buyer, there isn’t a Heidi that works there — and even better, there isn’t even a member named Heidi!

I ask her to please look around and I start sleuthing around to find this old buyer.  I go to my LinkedOut LinkedIn account — she is one of my connections.

I email her via LinkedIn and ask her how her job search is going and oh, by the way, where the heck are my samples.

She emails back she is “regrouping” and she gave the samples to her best customer at the club to try out (LIAR! There is no Heidi!!!).

I respond that I either need the samples back ASAP or payment for them.

The email trail then goes cold.

I now call the new buyer to ask for help.  (And since I’m clearly not going to have time to work out, I try to do a few tricep dips and butt clenches at my desk like Shape magazine tells me to do)  She explains the old buyer no longer works there because there were some “inventory discrepancies.”

Now I’m annoyed.  I decide I’m going to invoice everyone.  I invoice the club (it was your employee), I invoice the thief (that was a waste of 30 seconds), and I’m even going to invoice Tony Horton (I talk about P90X enough in my blog, I figure he should give me a kickback)!

But the worst part of this story?  I now have to go get a key

Spinner is Managing Partner of Smashing Golf & Tennis and mother of three.  She believes in the good in mankind.  She is currently installing deadbolts, chain locks, electric fences and hiring snipers for security.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 11, 2012 10:18 am

    Oh no! Awful story – hilarious post. Butt clenches are definitely in order. You need a spy in that small MS town. There can only be so many tennis courts and she’s going to want to wear those Smashing samples!

  2. Spinner permalink
    April 11, 2012 4:18 pm

    Good thinking! Now that would be a blog….

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