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All is Fair in Love and A Trunk Show

May 14, 2012

We love a good trunk show.  Especially one that involves happy women shoppers, alcohol (to loosen the purse strings) and vendors ready to scratch each other’s eyes out.

For those of you that have not been to a trunk show before, let me explain how it works.  Most country clubs have an Opening Day Trunk Show.  The ladies of the 9 hole and 18 hole golf leagues are invited for either a morning or evening of shopping and orientation of the seasons events.  The clubs usually ask anywhere from 4 to 44 vendors to come in for the ladies to shop.  It is designed to be a day of fun for the members.

It is designed to be a battlefield for the vendors.

I’m the new guy and didn’t realize there are all these unwritten rules for the vendors.  There is this hierarchy that involves Nike having the best table, then Foot Joy, then Adidas, etc.

Not aware of these rules, I showed up early and snagged the best table and got to work setting up.

In walks Nike.  He shoots me a look that is all too familiar.  I received the same look as a Freshman when I accidentally sat at the Senior lunch table. He is debating whether to let it go, or stuff me into a locker.  Since I’m nearly 6′ and he is only 5’2″, he opts for the former.  Wise choice my friend, wise choice.

He ends up at one of the worst tables in a corner by the bathroom.  He is fuming.

I continue to set up and feel something hit me on the head.  It is a size 7 Nike shoe. Luckily it was from the Summer Lites collection.  I’m totally annoyed as I took the time to straighten my hair this morning and now I have a big Nike logo on the back of my head.

Game on Nikeman, Game on.

I take a stroll to the dimly lit corner and lean in and say, “Best table in the place?” I then purposefully flick my hair, “I just got it.” I slam my hand down on his table for emphasis.

He goes from Irish white to tomato red and then I see him grab the new Embellish shoe that has some serious spikes.  Luckily the buyer shoots him a classic Catholic school disciplinarian look and he releases his grip. However he is still sporting the hot color of summer on his skin.

In walk the ladies.  It is a madhouse.  Somehow I gained a fan that is clearly the opinion leader of the group and she makes the following announcement,

“The best stuff here is from Smashing.  Everyone come over here.”

I love this lady.

I’m frantically writing orders while keeping one eye peeled to make sure none of the other vendors have slipped out to slash my tires.  Everyone is still accounted for, but they have that look of animals about to pounce.  I’m trying to remember how Jennifer Garner in Alias was able to fend off multiple attackers with only a ball point pen.

Eventually the show ends and all the vendors start to pack up.  Now comes the ultimate vendor competition.  How many shows we are going to next.

Vendor 1 announces, “I have a show tomorrow.”

Vendor 2 retorts, “I have 2 tomorrow.  One in the morning and one at night.”

Not to be outdone, vendor 3 replies, “I have 3 tomorrow.  I don’t know how I’m going to do it all.”

They all look at me to partake in this childish competition.

“Me?” I say, “I’m golfing tomorrow.”

Yeah, my tires are slashed now…..

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