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How The Huffington Post put me into Therapy

September 27, 2012

In case you haven’t heard, we are being featured in The Huffington Post in mid-October.  We are VERY excited.  Our fans our excited.  Our Clients are excited.  But the person that is most excited?  My therapist because I’ve needed to book extra sessions.

The article is wonderful.  (A big shout out to Lori Weiss for writing an amazing article on the “behind the scenes” of Smashing Golf & Tennis.)  It’s the photos that are bringing anxiety attacks.  Mostly the teenage ones that she is looking for.

The Huffington Post wants to present photos to go with the story and so is looking for photos that document all of our crazy stories.  Now, when we were being shot at on the South Side, I didn’t have time to set up the tripod. “Um, excuse me sir, could you hold your gunfire why we take a quick picture in case some day we are famous and they want a shot of our first factory visit?”  So some of the photos we need to re-enact.  I volunteered Boss to go to the first factory again.

One of the pictures they would like is our defining moment.  Something that happened in our childhood that may have led us to eventually have this idea.  Mine was the fact that being 6 foot tall, I could never find pants that were long enough.  She loved that and wanted a coordinating picture.  I forgot that I had compensated the “too short” pant look with the “very tall” hair look (give me a break, I grew up in Jersey).  My mom promised that she would only send the good ones, I hate to see the ones she didn’t send.

I tried to upload the full picture, but they said the file was too big.  So I’ll just show you the hair.  And yes I am one of the people responsible for the hole in the ozone layer.  I’m pretty sure the biggest hole is directly above the state of New Jersey and was made dramatically larger in the 80s.

Luckily I was able to find a picture of me on vacation where I obviously forgot the Aqua Net and so my hair did fit in the frame.  That is the one I sent to The Huffington Post with the caption, “Short Pants and High Hair”.  It’s amazing I didn’t become a hair stylist.

The next picture that required another therapy session was our “money picture.”  They wanted a picture of Boss and I surrounded by product.  We decided we needed an updated picture so we went up to one of our Client’s that had a great display of Smashing Golf & Tennis.  We posed in front of the display.  I had on my new slimming Ann Taylor pants and a sleeveless shirt, Boss had on fun pants and a sweater.  We set up the tripod and were ready to go, when our friends entered the shop.

“Now don’t take this the wrong way Spinner,” she starts, “but I think you should wear a jacket.”

Don’t take this the wrong way?!!?  Are you saying my triceps are fat?  But “I brought it” with P90X.  Great, now I’m doing tricep dips at my desk everyday.

So I put on a jacket and the entire store says collectively, “That’s better.”

Boss didn’t come out unscathed as she had a total wardrobe change during the photo shoot and finally settled on the  slimming black on black look.

The last picture that is sure to race my heart is one where we are “doing it all.”  The Huffington Post would like some pics of us showing us working while also helping the kids.  This is my daily life, but I don’t always take pics of this.  But I’ll set up a tripod tonight and while I’m returning calls, helping kids with homework, making dinner, breaking up fights, telling them to stop running in the house and filling orders,  I will have a constant stream of flashes going off in the house.  I’m sure I will be in an epileptic seizure by 7pm.

So look for us in the Huffington Post in mid-October.  And don’t forget to get your Smashing Golf and Tennis.  I have to pay for these therapy bills somehow.

PS– Smashing Golf & Tennis has 25% off AND Free Shipping until Oct 1 with code RYDER25

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