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Wanted: Blue Debit Cards with Benny the Bull

December 28, 2012
Bulls Game 2010

Bulls Game 2010

I was at the bank with some paperwork last week for our business account and needed to order new checks for a new account – which for some reason will take forever to arrive, but not to worry, I’ll use our Smashing debit card in the meantime. Just then, as I’m thinking through my Plan B, the banker notices my Smashing debit card.  Oh oh, he says – that card isn’t going to work and will be expiring any minute.

“Really?, I reply – since it looks like the expiration is in 2013.

“Yes, you may not be aware, but all of our debit cards are now blue and the silver ones won’t work!”, he explains.

I thought he must be joking and asked are there any other features to these new debit cards.  He replies that they also have the new bank logo.  Plus, I could get a picture Benny the Bull on it if I want, since they are a major sponsor of the Chicago Bulls.

Anything else? No, not really, but your old silver one with our last logo won’t work anymore. At which point  he takes out his scissors and cuts my card in half!

“Argh!”, I moan and having flashbacks of the factory owner that ripped our first sample in her attempt to dispel the Stretchy Thread myth.

But you don’t understand, we need that card to work – we have rush orders to ship and Spinner has flogged so many USPS rules that they are unlikely to extend us credit, especially a few days before Christmas.  (Fortunately, for some reason UPS thinks we’re a good credit risk!)

Don’t worry, the banker explains, you’ll have your new debit card in a couple of business days…Well, unless the post office is delayed.  How could they possibly have delays, 3 days before Christmas!  Well, guess you’ll need to wait until the new year to use your debit card, but are you interested in a new money market account for your business, he asks hopefully.

Well, what do I get for my money market account?  Well you get interest of 0.00125% instead of nothing on your current account, and can only write 3 checks a month.  Yeah, think I would just rather have my debit card back to use until the new one comes in, but I guess he’s already disabled the number.

He does mention that I should tell Spinner that her debit card will no longer work either.  I explain that Spinner has yet to be entrusted with a Smashing debit card – we all know that she has a problem saying “No”.

Well this might be a good time to order her one, just give her a call and ask for all of her personal information and we’ll order her one as well.

OK, let me see if she answers her phone, secretly hoping that she will not.  But after only 1 ring she’s there and I explain that I’m at the bank and need her personal details, her SSN, and a credit card number for identification.  Surprisingly she gives me all of this information and then asks why.

I explain that maybe she might be getting her own Smashing debit card.  “Really?” – She can hardly contain her excitement.  “You’ll actually give it to me?”

Well, I’m not sure about that, but I’m here and this guy cut up our only card, so might be good to have a spare.   So, by the way, don’t order anything, since we have no checks or debit cards at the moment.

I’m not sure she heard me, she was still dreaming about her debit card and wondering if she could have Benny the Bull on hers.

Have Smashing Day.

PS  The new debit cards arrived – Ironically they are still silver!  I better hide them from the banker and his scissors, he will not be happy that they are not blue.

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