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The Match with the Dragon Tattoo

January 23, 2014

I love tennis.  I love it mostly because it often gives me great blogging material.

We had a match this week and as we were warming up, my partner thought the net was a little high.  I found it funny that she was so perceptive to notice the difference of an 1/8 of an inch as this is the same person that has often shown up to matches with two left shoes.  However I didn’t want her to get in her head about the height of the net, so I asked the other team if they would mind measuring the net height.

The other team was very gracious and went and retrieved their pro to do the official measuring.

A few moments later out walks our opponent and their pro.  The pro is dressed in what I can only describe as a velour track suit and looks like he just woke up from a nap in his 1970s Barker lounger.  He proceeds to saunter onto the court and we explain to him we thought the net looked a little high, and would he mind measuring it.

Now, what happens next is most likely our fault as we did not specify that he measure it with a measuring tape.

Instead of pulling out a measuring tape, he lifts up his shirt to reveal a large fire-breathing dragon tattoo horizontally placed across his hairy beer belly.  He shoves his belly up to the net and then confirms that the net is at the exact height of the fire emitting from the dragon’s mouth.  He then remarks, “Looks good to me,”  and  proceeds to saunter off the court.

I look to our opponents and say, “Seriously?”

They are clearly mortified and offer to get another pro to measure at which point both my partner and I yell, “NO!!”

I’m not sure if this is their official measuring technique or if they couldn’t locate a measuring tape, but we were not taking any chances.

Unfortunately we did not win the match.  The net was too high.

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