No Mail For You!!

With a New Year brings hope that good will triumph over evil, that we can all achieve our dreams, and that I will never have another issue with UPS.

One week into the New Year and my hopes are squashed.

It’s been cold here in Chicago — so cold, that they have actually cancelled school and apparently all plowing as well.  So with the bonus week of holiday break with my three little cherubs, I decided that no matter how cold they say it is, we are venturing outside this house!  We decided on a trip to Costco and we all got dressed out of the pajamas we had been wearing for 3 consecutive days with the same furry and energy we would exhibit if I told them we were going to Disney World.  To further demonstrate how excited we were, I actually put on make up.

On our way to Costco, I realized I needed to stop by our Smashing mailbox to pick up some checks and other supplies that I know were waiting.  Our mailbox is housed at the UPS center since our warehouse does not accept mail.  Given that the temperature was in the negatives, I pull up to the UPS Center, left kids with car running and ran in to pick up mail/boxes.

Normally, walking into collect our mail I’m treated like Norm from Cheers.  They usually scream, “Smashing!” which always puts a smile on my face even though I keep waiting for my beer.  But there is one gentleman that has been a little grumpy recently and he did not scream “Smashing!” as I walked in.  I shrugged it off to the cold.  I mean it is so cold, you actually need to conserve your energy.

I go to our box and realize I don’t have the key since it is in my car with my kids.  So I sweetly ask if they would mind getting my mail.

“No key, no mail,” he says rather gruffly.

Of course, I think he is joking.  I mean are they going to hold our  mail ransom?  So I of course let out a little chuckle and say,

“That’s funny, you sound like the soup Nazi.” (from Seinfeld of course)

He looks at me incredulously and says, “I’m serious.  We are really busy and I don’t have time to get your mail because you forgot your key.”

At this point, I take a dramatic 360 degree turn around to elaborate on the point that there is NO ONE IN THE STORE!

This of course only further aggravates him.

“Listen Smashing,” (I of course was glad I got my greeting, even a little late), “I’ll get it for you this one time.  But this is your warning, next time, no key, no mail!”

I stifle a laugh and thank him for taking time out of his busy day to walk 10 feet to retrieve my mail and boxes.

You will be happy to know that we did get our mail, we did get our boxes and my kids did stay toasty warm in the car.  And I think I only burned half a tank of gas during this 20 minute exchange.